Friday's Recap (160710)

Last Friday’s cell discussion was about temptation. We all face it. The lust for sex and power, the desperate cravings for intimacy, the allure of becoming rich and successful, and the addiction to perfectionism. No man and woman on earth are exempted from the magnetic field of temptation. Most succumb to temptation and fall into sin. Others are continually tempted but resisted it bravely. The question is this, why is Jesus so successful in dealing with temptation and we fail at it so miserably sometimes? I think the answer to that can be unearthed from this quote from theologian D.A. Carson, “The sad fact is that many people dwell on dirt without grasping that it is dirt. The wise Christian will see plenty of dirt in the world, but will recognize it as dirt, precisely because everything that is clean has captured his or her mind.”
Beloved, what has captured our mind? For Jesus, it was Calvary. How about us? Is it lust? Money? Success? Perfectionism?
At yesterday’s cell, we define temptation as pure desires becoming un-pure or warped appetites of man. All of us have desires. I dare say that they are God-given. Name any of the desires that we have and I can tell you that you need them to a certain extent. We are created to satisfy these desires. God is pleased when we set aside time to satisfy these desires. Imagine for a moment that we are asexual or non-sexual. This world wouldn’t get populated as God had commanded. How about the desire for pleasure? Imagine a life without pleasure; where nothing brings you joy, satisfaction and delight. Life would really be flat, dull and uninspiring. King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 8:15, “I commend the enjoyment of life.” So, go out there and spread your wings. Enjoy your life, take up a hobby, go for a holiday, and relax a little. You deserve it. God recommends it. You are better for it.
Then, there is the desire for food. This is definitely a must-have desire at its purest form. Without food, the obvious alternative is starvation and death. But too much of it, we end up with obesity and death. The key word here is to take your food with self-control and in moderation.
How about work? We all have the desire to work. Some of us have more of it and others have less of it. At one extreme, there are the vagabonds or mendicant (beggars), who have no such desires for an honest day’s work. At the other extreme, there are the workaholics or perfectionists, who are so obsessed with work that they neglect everything that matters in their life.
Lastly, there is the desire for knowledge and wisdom. The two can be distinguished as such: Knowledge is to know how to do it and wisdom is to know whether one even ought to do it. So, wisdom is the superior desire of the two. But what if we have too much of it. What if we think too much of ourselves? What if we are full of it?
Well, we become arrogant, and sometimes obnoxiously arrogant, of course. It is said that the cravings for power caused the angels to fall and the lust for knowledge caused man to fall. Ecclesiastes 7:16 lays it down well, “Do not be over-righteous, neither be over wise.” Honestly, I have a weak spot for the desire for knowledge. I read quite a fair bit and I am slavishly driven by curiosity. A trip to the library or book shop never fails to give me a pedantic high. But I realized that without putting what I have learned into practice is not the acquisition of wisdom. In fact, it is the retardation of it. It is like filling a leaking cup with water. In the end, no matter how much you pour into it, the cup remains empty. Well, I can replace the cup with a bigger cup, but it makes no difference if it is still leaking with holes at the bottom. It will never get filled to the brim.
So, let’s return to our subject on temptation. I believe that these desires make us human. A philosopher and humanitarian Jean Vanier once said, “We cannot grow spiritually if we ignore our humanness, just as we cannot become fully human if we ignore spirituality.” Like water and air, our desires make us humans, keep us alive and inspire us to succeed in life. But when our desires become un-pure, when we pervert it or go to the extreme with it, we enter dangerous or perilous terrains. Take marriage for example. God ordains it. Institutions honor it. And husbands are supposed to protect it. But sexual perversion can destroy it. When husbands (or wives) stop investing in their marriage, cease giving it any attention, and start looking for prettier alternatives, the marriage will inevitably fail. I have read about a pastor who was living in an adulterous relationship with his church secretary on the lamest reason that his aged wife has lost interest in sex.
How about pleasures? Pleasures can be perverted as well. We derive pleasure from sex within a marriage. But when it is done outside of marriage, it is sin. We may enjoy working. But when we are obsessed with it, it becomes a bondage.
At yesterday’s cell, I shared about the real life account of a 42-year-old computer expert named Armin Meiwes. In 2003, he went online looking for someone to kill and eat. He interviewed many who actually answered to the online ad. Altogether, there were about two hundred men who responded to this perverted desire! Out of the many men who craved to be killed and eaten, one by the name of Bernd Brandes was interviewed and shortlisted. That fateful meeting between two very perverted souls ended up with Brandes’ penis being cut up to be served for dinner, fried in olive oil. The two men then tried unsuccessfully to eat it. Later, as Armin was taking a break reading a Star Trek novel, Brandes was soaking in the bathtub bleeding to death. A few hours later, Armin went to the bathtub, kissed his lover goodbye, and stabbed him to death. After that, he chopped Brandes to pieces, packed it up and neatly arranged the body parts in the freezer, next to some pizza. In the next few weeks that followed, Armin was to slowly and pleasurably devour 44 pounds of his lover in olive oil and fried garlic. Every meal was carefully designed for the maximum twisted pleasure. He took the trouble to use the best cutlery and set the ambience for the meal by lighting some candles and then swallowed the medium raw meat with a sip of South African red wine. How perverted is that!
I think it is very appropriate here to purge this disgusting account from our mind with this purifying scripture: “To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted.” (Titus 1:15).
Beloved, do not underestimate the power of temptation. You can ask an alcoholic and he can tell you the power of a drink, which at first may seen outwardly harmless. The temptation here is a systematic addiction and it goes something like this: At first, the man takes a drink. Then, the drink takes the drink. Finally, the drink takes the man.
We cannot live an authentic Christian life without overcoming temptation. As Christians, we are empowered by God’s spirit to subject our mind in captivity to His word, transform it towards holiness, and exercise self-control and be alert at all times lest temptation enters through our mental backdoor. The Bible admonishes us to submit to God and resist the devil and he will flee from us (James 4:7). These are powerful words that are utterly meaningless to a believer if he is a leaking vessel, punctuated by many worldly holes.
If an interview were to be conducted to identify authentic Christians from fake ones, the most appropriate question to be asked is this (assuming it could be answered with all honesty): How serious are you about following Christ? If the same question is asked of you, what will be your answer?
It is said that all the powers in this world could not stop a man whose mind is made up. Have you made up your mind about following Christ? Are you serious about overcoming that secret sin? If you have, and are prepared to renew your mind everyday for God, you are definitely a force to be reckoned with. Even though you may be tempted by the many seductions of this world, you will be able to overcome it because “to the pure, all things are pure” and “everything that is clean has captured his or her mind.”
Before I end this letter, let me take a brief moment to warn you of the following mindsets that can control and corrupt you (adapted from the book Steering Clear by Earl Wilson).
MINIMIZATION / RELABELLING. This is a mindset that masquerades or trivializes sin. Because we do not want to face the consequences of our sins, we make it flippant, we dismiss it, and we re-label it. We do not call sin sin. We call it by another name, a less wicked name or a more acceptable name - a euphemism of convenience. Maybe, sexual thoughts are re-labeled as momentary derailment. The lust for money is called noble ambition. And flirting is called flashing your manhood. However, you re-label it, a sin is still a sin. It works like a cord that slowly and systematically strangles your spiritual life and faith in the end. Remember, you are either a victim of or victor over temptation; you can’t be both in the same way that you cannot serve two masters.
RATIONALIZATION. Forget about rationalizing with the devil. He is no gentleman and you will do much better to just ignore him wholesale, completely. You cannot bargain with the devil and come up tops. Stop telling yourself that maybe God doesn’t mind that you take a break from your marriage to flirt with your female colleague or invite her for a harmless lunch or dinner. Hebrews 13:4 has already made it clear about the sanctity of your marriage with this warning, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
DENIAL. This is a very broad-brushed mindset where we close our eyes completely to sin and jump into it as if it matters little to God and our loved ones. Denying the consequences of sin does not make it go away. Only through true repentance can we be set free from the clutches of sin to live a life pleasing to God. Here are some common denying pick-up lines as your early warning signs: It didn’t happen; if it happen, people shouldn’t be hurt; I didn’t do it; I didn’t mean to do it; it only happened once; it’s not really my fault; I didn’t hurt anyone but myself; I don’t know why everyone has to make such a big deal about this; I’ve stopped doing it, so it’s no big deal. Do not deceive yourself any longer. It is said that the one lie that cannot be detected is the lies you feed yourself over time. So, let the truth set you free because only in truth can your lies unravel and loosen its stranglehold on you. Indeed, it is said that many marriages are strong enough to handle truth (however ugly they may be); but few are strong enough to handle continued lies.
JUSTIFICATION. Stop trying to justify sin. Stop telling yourself that God would understand why you had to sin. Stop telling yourself that you could not help it because it just happened or she happened to be more caring than your wife. Stop repeating to yourself that your wife does not understand you or your needs. Remember that you are responsible for your own actions and thoughts. You control the cerebral arena of your mind and you are its gatekeeper. Lust and corruption cannot enter your mind without your permission and you are therefore accountable to God for your actions.
ENTITLEMENT. Many people indulge in sin because they feel that they are entitled to some personal timeouts for being a good provider of a husband, a hardworking employee or a long-service award Christian. Remember goodness is its own reward. Unless you are seeking self-pleasure or self-significance, seeking holiness and being good are virtues that lead to happiness and success. They are basically self-rewarding. A good husband will receive the respect and love of his wife and children. A good worker will be rewarded by his boss. A self-sacrificing Christian will receive peace and joy from God. So, don’t look for false entitlements which will manipulate you to sin. Beware of these mental traps of entitlement: No one appreciates me; I’ve been so good; I’m not as bad as most husband are; I’ve done so much for God; My wife doesn’t really like sex much; I lead such a sheltered life; I’ve been pure all these years; I need something to lift my spirits; God intended that I enjoy life. By entertaining these thoughts of self-entitlement, you are slowly and insidiously giving yourself permission to go down the slippery slope of moral failure.
SECRET FANTASY. I think one of the most courageous men I know are those who dare to stare reality in the eyeball and confront all the challenges that it throw at them. These are men who will make their marriage work despite all its imperfections. They are basically promise-keepers who will stick by their wife literally through thick and thin. They are trustworthy employees who are disciplined and focused and get the job done. They are truly redeemed Christians who talk the talk and walk the walk. So, please extract your head out of fantasy land and face the realities that you have built through the life-choices you have made.
Your mental fantasy can come in many LED flat-screened plasma forms. It could be thoughts about how nice if you had married your secretary instead of your current wife. It could be dreams of becoming so rich that your enemies would rot in envy of you. It could be in the form of avoiding all consequences of your actions by escaping to temptation island characterized by over-indulgence, depravity and debauchery. Nowadays, with the internet and the web, your fantasy can be in the form of an avatar running wild in a godless virtual world of heightened stimulation and escapism. Indeed, your route to escape to a self-styled fantasy world where you are almost god-like is boundary-less.
I know of no better way to debunk our fantasy than to starve it for good. And to starve it requires us to carry out what I call a mental spring cleaning with a trusted and powerful detergent found in Philippians 4:8-9, “Brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace with be with you.”
Let me end here. Earlier I raised this question: why is Jesus so successful in dealing with temptation and we fail at it so miserably sometimes? Well, now I can give a fuller answer to it. Jesus’ secret to overcoming temptation is awfully simple. It is encapsulated in John 5:30, “I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.”
If there is a bridge that lies between our God-given desires and its perversion, it is the desire to please ourselves. Narcissism or self-love always leads us astray. But pleasing God brings us to the opposite direction. For it is written in Psalms 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will grant you the desires of your heart”. Another scripture that expresses the same unmistakable sentiment is in Ecclesiastes 2:24-26, “A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man, who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God.” Now, that’s poetic justice designed specially for you!
Have a victorious week ahead.